


three queens

by badAquatic, orphan_account



Series: Trailerstuck [10]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alien Biology, Alien Cultural Differences, Alien Culture, Alien Mythology/Religion, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human/Troll Society, Friendship, Gen, Illustrated, M/M, Mental Instability, Platonic Female/Female Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Sleepovers, Teen Pregnancy, kanaya is always wrong about drivers, karkat can't drive stick, karkat would make a beautiful bride
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-22
Updated: 2013-01-22
Packaged: 2017-11-26 11:28:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/650050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badAquatic/pseuds/badAquatic, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You do what you can to help those around you, but you can only do so much. After all, you're only a troll. </p><p>A Trailerstuck side story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	three queens

**== >Kanaya: Escort Aradia back home**

 

At the Megido Mobilehive:

“Kanaya, it’s alright. I honestly don’t need help.”

You shake your head as you bend over, picking up another pair of muddy jeans from the mobilehive floor. You toss it into the laundry bag. Aradia’s mobilehive is even worse condition than your own was. Panties tossed on the couch. Unused condoms pushed behind the couch. You’ve never seen such a sty and your father was a little lazy on the clean-up sometimes but _honestly!_ It’s as if Damara had developed an allergy to vacuuming and picking up after herself.

So, this is how you spend your Friday mid-mornings at your age: cleaning up the mobilehive of a close friend. What is the world coming to?

“Aradia, I know you value your independence but this is a different situation.” you answer, “You’re going to run yourself ragged trying to maintain upkeep in this place—oh my _gods_!”

Something furry and black scurries out from under a shirt tossed on the floor. It squeaks and dashes down the hallway. You look to Aradia, who shrugs. She stubbornly stands in the corner of the room, watching you clean the living room. 

“New Jack City rats. They’re too big for glue traps and too smart for bait. I wouldn’t be surprised if my mother was encouraging them to nest here just to annoy me.” Aradia says.

“Aradia, this is no place for you _or_ your child,” you say, “and you shouldn’t be on your feet so much.

“I’m fine, Kanaya. I just didn’t get enough sleep last night.” you say, “One of our guys called out sick at ShopRite and they needed me.”

“You passed out in Algebra II, Araida,” you respond. “Equius was a little concerned when he couldn’t wake you up.”

This is the understatement of the year. Equius was terribly frightened that his matesprite had collapsed on her desk in the middle of a lecture. He practically begged you to take her home and make sure she was alright. You have no qualms about this though. Equius is a supportive matesprite and it’s your hemotype’s duty to protect grubs and those who carry them.

“How many days out of the week are you working at ShopRite?” you ask.

“Double shifts on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Then I’m on call for anything else, though I usually end up popping in on Wednesday and Thursday.” Aradia says.

“You have to take time off to rest. You’re burning off whatever fat and nutrition your body is trying to store up for your grub working like a maniac. Doesn’t Damara earn enough to let you take a break?”

Aradia shakes her head, “Most likely but I’ll never see a nickel of it, at least not without fighting her for it. I’m trying to build up a nest egg so that Equius and I can have our own place. I definitely don’t want my grub around Damara or Horuss.”

“I can’t blame you, considering Horuss’s conservatism, but you have to think of your _child_ first.”

Your huskdroid sings out a snippet of Troll Voltaire’s “BRAINS!”. It seems you have a new message on Trollichum.

“Pardon, Aradia.” You pull the huskdroid out of your skirt pocket. You hope it’s not your mother informing you that your sister is going to do something stupid, your sister informing you that she’s going to do something stupid to spite your mother; or worse yet your father moaning about how unreasonable your mother is.  

The message is not from who you expect though.

 

\--cuttlefishCuller[CC] began trolling grimAuxilatrix[GA]!—

CC: ka

CC: na ya

CC: )(elp me

CC: i cant

CC: )(elp

CC: )( -E L P

CC: es )(appeni gain

CC: sumone

CC: jepl

CC: ne

CC: o kun reathe

\--cuttlefishCuller[CC] is now an idle troll!—

 

You are shaking. You never thought garbled words could fill you with such dread.

“Oh no.” you breathe, “Oh no _no no!_ ”

“Kanaya. Kanaya, what’s wrong?”

“It’s Feferi. She’s home alone and…and I think she had another attack. I have to go to her.”

Your mind is racing. Feferi’s mobilehive is on the other side of the park. You couldn’t possibly get there in time. The longer you wait, the longer it’ll take to bring the seatroll back from the brink.

Aradia looks at your face; then approaches the coffee table covered with newspapers and empty beer cans. She grabs the car keys laying behind a Doritos bag. “Here. We’ll use Damara’s car.”

You look at the rustblood, “Can you drive?”

 

Aradia is already walking to the door. She must be hearing the far off trumpets calling her to adventure with their loud honks.  

“I know the basics well enough from watching my mother and this is an emergency right?” Aradia looks at you from over her shoulder, “Feferi needs us and there’s no one else around but us girls.”

You nod. “You are right about that. Let’s be on our way then.”

It couldn’t possibly be _that_ difficult to drive a hovercar and this is a dire emergency.

* * *

Along Two Boot Drive:

“ _STOP THE CAR STOP THE CAR WE’RE GOING TO DIE!”_

“I’M TRYING TO STOP IT! I’M STILL LEARNING!”

“YOU’RE GOING TO HIT THAT TREEEE—”

You take everything you said back. This was a terrible idea. Aradia is swerving all over the road like she’s Kankri Vantas and they’re giving out free shots at The Vast Chug. It’s a blessing it’s late Friday morning and most people are at school, work, or still asleep. The bottom Damara’s hovercar occasionally skates along the muddy road. Your bounce around in your seat, thanking gods and engineers for seatbelts.  

Aradia screeches to a stop before striking a willow tree. You step out of the hovercar and fight to steady your balance and ignore motion induced vertigo. The world is spinning. You almost sink your foot in a mud puddle.

Aradia wobbles out of the driver’s side. She looks at you and giggles nervously, “That…that was a lot of fun… _scary_ but fun. Like riding a roller coaster.”

“I would say it’s more akin to riding a roller coaster operated by a soporin junkie and the structure isn’t properly bolted to the ground.” you grumble.

This is not an imaginative example. You have experienced this terror first hand at the annual Mirth Gras Carnival on Fifth Street.

You leave the hovercar in the middle of the road and approach Feferi’s mobilehive. Every footstep you take emits a squelching sound as every square inch of soil here soaked with swamp water. The air stinks of metal salt and molten plastic from the chemical and plastic factories—which are at its closest here.

You should have worn your rain shoes. Why didn’t you wear your rain shoes? Oh yes—because this is an emergency and you didn’t have time to stop off home and change your shoes.

You approach the mobilehive at a hurried pace. You try not to wince as your new heels dip more into the mud, the tall lawnring grass brushing against your hips. Aradia follows closely. She always wears boots and thick socks. Lucky her.  

Aradia looks around muttering, “…Feferi lives _here_?”

“All the seatrolls do. This area’s closer to the water and therefore has more moisture in the air.” you say. “Aradia, be mindful of the lawnring grass. There are many…items here that cannot easily be seen.”

These items are often rusty, sharp, and broken that have been tossed here by inconsiderate idiots that could easily cause a tetanus outbreak or horrid infection. Not even Meenah with her careful eye could possibly gather them all.  

“ _Lawnring_ …? Oh you mean the lawn.” Aradia says after a pause.

The mobilehive door is locked but this isn’t your first time breaking into a mobilehive. Five minutes work with a bobby pin and you’re inside. The lights are on in the living room so Feferi is about. Thank the gods she wasn’t outside when she had her attack.

“Feferi?” Aradia calls.

You shake your head, “If the attack is this bad, she won’t be able to respond right away. It’s best to find her first.”

It doesn’t take long to search the mobilehive, especially since you have another pair of eyes helping you. You are in the culinaryblock when you hear Aradia give a startled yelp from the hygieneblock. You run over to her side, only to find the rustblood standing in the doorway—mouth slightly agape.

Feferi is coiled up in the ablution trap, slick hair spread along her face and body. Her chest slowly heaves up and down with labored breath. Luckily, she’s not foaming at the mouth. You walk over to the trap. Aradia remains frozen by the doorway.

You try to help the seatroll sit up. Her skin’s ice cold but that’s normal for her mutant hemotype. “Feferi. Feferi, wake up. It’s Kanaya. I’m here.”

 

  
 

A rose-pink eye rolls toward you, surrounded by irritated veins in the orange-yellow sclera.  

“…yoooo…yooouuu came...k-kan…aya…” she slurs.

You pray the slurring is from temporary shock and not permanent brain damage.

“Shhh. It’s alright…” You look to Aradia, “Can you help me lift her?”

As common to her hemotype, Feferi is a big girl—big hearted, big grins, big laughs, and of course much physically bigger than Aradia and you. It takes the both of you to lift her out of the ablution trap. Despite all your earlier warnings about Aradia staying off her feet and suggesting she be more inactive, you need her now to keep Feferi from slipping further under.

You drag the fuchsiablood respiteblock and lay her on the daybed. Thank goodness it’s big enough for two trolls her size. You instruct Aradia to get ice cubes from the thermal hull, put them in sandwich bags, and scatter them along the seatroll’s body. You have to keep her temperature steady if you want her to recover.  

“Is it too hot for her?” Aradia asks.

“No.” You shake your head, “It’s too _cold_ for her here. Seatrolls are slow adapters. A New Jack City summer is nothing compared to the Alternian light season, or even the heat of the southern hemisphere isles on New Earth.”

“I don’t understand how that works.” Aradia admits, “Seatrolls have such a low body temperature. Wouldn’t cold be better for them?”

“No, Aradia. Its basic cold-blood biology.” you say, “The seatroll body needs extreme heat to function. Its stores up the heat to last through the more chilled nights. That’s how it was built for Alternia, but on New Earth it’s not nearly as hot so their bodies don’t get the proper heat it needs.”

New Jack City sits on a peninsula hanging off the massive chunk of deep forests, semi-deserts, and tundra that is the Mainland. The only time it was boiling hot was at the height of summer. The winters were brutally cold—a few seatrolls died from hypothermia last year during the snow storm.

Aradia’s dark red eyes are on Feferi. You see her face is knotted with unease,

“Is there something wrong, Aradia?” you ask.

Aradia shakes her head. “No. Nothing. Just…thinking about things. I don’t think I’ve ever been to Feferi’s trailer before, or her room.”

“It is a very…interesting design choice, in color scheme and furnishings.”

Aradia smirks. She’s known you long enough that you’re too polite to say the respiteblock looks _horrible._ The walls have been painted a hideous shade of dark dried mustard yellow. The daybed sheets are magenta leopard print sheets with yellow buttercream pillows. Brown and gold floral wallpaper accents runn along where the ceiling and floor meet the wall. The dresser is pale grey and the stained brown carpeting that smells of the tainted swamp water.

You run a claw over Feferi’s brow. The seatroll’s breaths are coming easier now.

“Poor girl.” you sigh, “Aradia, you should consider yourself very fortunate that your matesprite can be there for you. Sollux…is always so busy…”

Aradia frowns. “Being busy…is not why Sollux isn’t here very often…”

“ _Oh_.” You feel the blood rise to your cheeks. “I thought he was busy, what with his father and sister unable to work and his mother…well, you’re his moirail. You should already know that situation.”

Terezi’s blindness was an insurance hazard for any business that would hire her and Mituna couldn’t work the simplest of jobs after his burn out. Latula had been the support for the family since Terezi and Sollux were young, working at the plastics factory. She had been pulling double shifts…until she began to suffer horrible migraines and lost her sense of smell. Sollux was the only one in that family left capable of working. Even with a stipend from the city, it was hard to make ends meet sometimes.

Aradia’s fingers toy with the strap on her jumper. “It’s complicated…” she mutters, “…but I know he wants to be there for her in the end. It’s just difficult right now.”

“Yes. Everything is getting complicated now. Maybe it’s just a sign that we’re getting older.” You return to stroking the seatroll’s hair, “I wonder where Meenah has gotten too.”

Feferi mumbles; her eyes move, blind behind the grey lids.

“If she’s shipbreaking at Happy Harbors she’ll be gone for a while. She does love her job, even though its dangerous.”

“Because she enjoys destruction on such a huge level and working alongside heavy machinery?” You frown, “I honestly cannot see why father likes her so much.”

The seatroll’s arms twitch. You look at Feferi, preparing for another fit of barking commands than soon evolves into screaming profanity. Instead she sits up with an ungraceful flailing of limbs.

_“Isawit!”_ she gasps. _“Oh gods, I saw it!”_

“Feferi. Feferi, calm down. You just came out of a bad shock—”

“— _but I saw it! I saw the machine…_ ”

You hold her close. You feel like a large cat trying to hug a Rottweiler. Her fuchsia eyes dart around the room. Her chest heaves against your arm. She gulps for air and you watch the fuzz around her dirtied throat-gills flutter.  

“I…I was in the place out of time and space and I felt the heat of the magma on the skin of my soul an-and I saw the infinitely long conveyor belt pulled by the infernal c-clockwork, leading into the m-machinery of t-the Life-Death Machine…a-and I saw the souls of the in-innocent and the damned along the belt, ch-chained in enchanted gold…”

Feferi wheezes. Her eyes are dilated. She shudders,

“…and I heard the screech of gears and the churn of pistons…and the hi-hissing flow of lava everywhere. But I was not bound as the souls of the dead were. And I floated down the conveyor belt into the blisteringly hot heart of the Life-Death Machine…and inside was the co-court of the God of Time’s Clockworks. And he l-looked at me wi-with his h-huge dark ey-eyes…h-he looked at me…a-and said...”

 

You hold the trembling seatroll close. You stroke her hair. “Shhh. It was a hallucination brought on by the shock you had.”

“Maybe we should get you some water, Feferi…” Aradia proposes.

“…a-and the Angel of Legion guided me b-back here…and I held his hand and he said it wasn’t my time…it wa-wasn’t my time, Kanaya...”she whispers.

You stroke Feferi’s face and nod to Aradia, “Yes, some cold water would be good.”

Aradia leaves the respiteblock. You keep Feferi close, shushing away her visions of death and the molten afterlife. She continues mumbling but after three minutes of shushing her eyes are no longer glassy and dilated. She’s returning to reality now; away from the Tome’s lurid descriptions of the afterlife and the God of Time’s Clockworks with his gaping black eyes and magma blood.

“Uh Kanaya,” Aradia calls from the culinaryblock.

“What is it, Aradia?”

The rustblood returns to the respiteblock holding a glass full of muddy brown water. “ _This_ just came out of the tap. I tried the kitchen and the bathroom but all the water here is brown.”

“Brown as Nitram’s blood I suspect.” you say. 

“It wasn’t that color this morning…” Feferi croaks.

“Your water filter must have broken at some point and you’ve been drinking and bathing in swamp water.” You run a finger along her throat gills. “When was the last time you scrubbed your gills? They’re turning black again.”

Feferi looks sheepish, like a wiggler whose parent has caught them with their hand in a cookie jar. “I-it’s been a while…I’ve just been so busy.” She looks down, “I didn’t think today would end up like this…things seemed so normal. I got up and made myself some breakfast, drank some water, and then went to bathe…and I knew what was happening cause I was twitching. So, I was lucky I had my huskphone…”

“I’ll have to take a look at the filter before I leave.” you say.

Feferi’s eyes widen with pale-pink tears. “You’re leaving already? But you just got here, Kanaya…”

“No, I’m not leaving right now, Feferi. When I _do_ leave I will check, is what I meant to say.” You smile, “My apologies.”

“We wouldn’t leave you immediately after being through this.” Aradia says.

Feferi smiles. “That’s good. It’s just…sometimes I get so lonely with Mom working at the Happy Habour and Eridan won’t come around as much anymore...”

“What about Cronus or Sollux?” you ask.

Feferi shakes her head. “Cronus is busy. He works two jobs after all. And Sollux…Sollux won’t talk to me…I-I did something terrible. Really terrible.” She scrubs her eyes, “…I-I did something bad and I don’t even remember it clearly. Only what Eridan told me afterward…”

“Something bad…?”

Aradia frowns, watching Feferi scrub her eyes. Rosy tears slide down her face. “I…I was doing so good so I stopped taking the meds, since they were so expensive. Things were fine but…but I had a fit with Eridan and I…I’m a different person when I go into my fits…”

You pull the seatroll into another hug, listening to her choking sobs.

“…I cheated on Sollux and I don’t even remember it well. All I know is that I scratched up Eridan so badly during it…there was violet all over my claws and he said I was growling and hissing…”  

That explains the distance in her quadrants.

“There, there, Feferi. I’m sure Sollux understands…” you say.

“N-no he won’t!” Feferi mutters. “I tried…I tried to talk to him but I screwed it all up. It was my fault too and I didn’t want Eridan to get all the blame but I was nervous and blurted it out…I made a mess of everything, Kanaya.”

“It’s alright, Feferi. Try not to concern yourself with it…”

“But I can’t help it, Kanaya!” Feferi shakes her head frantically. She touches her stomach, “I-I can’t… _hide_ …what’s happened.”

You look at her stomach, putting the pieces into place. “Oh. Well.” You try to smile, “…I’m sure Meenah won’t throw you out though. Your mother is very affectionate and they are still your grubs.”

“You’re still her daughter.” Aradia adds.

“If you say so…” Feferi mumbles.

“Everything will turn out all right in the end.” you say, smiling.  

“Not everyone’s parents are willing to turn them out,” Aradia says, “Meenah shipbreaks because she loves you…and destroying decommissioned nautical structures.”

“In all honesty, your mother is one of the better parents, like Rufioh and my Mother.”

You wonder if the fact those three _didn’t_ grow up in the Manor is the reason they are better parents.

“Cronus seems like an okay parent,” Aradia says, “He cares for Karkat at least.”

Feferi delicately removes a loose eyelash from the corner of her eye with a thumb and frowns at the rustblood, “I would have left Kankri and taken my son with me.”

“Sometimes I wonder why he stays with Kankri,” you say, “From what Terezi has told me, since the incident Thursday night, Kankri’s been in another spiral of drinking. I should ask her why they’ve stayed together for so long. She has a talent for sniffing out hidden secrets.”

Feferi must be feeling better because she’s primping—running claws through her hair and brushing down the fine fur lined along the outside of her gills. “I asked him why he stays and he didn’t respond, but I think its guilt.”

“Like so many of our parents I think. They seem to just… _settle_ for whatever is most stable or convenient at the time,” considers Aradia, “or that is how everyone else’s parents are _excluding_ my mother.”

“Guilt for what exactly? Did he make Kankri an alcoholic wreck of a man?” you ask.

Feferi shakes her head, which is what you expect. Everyone’s earliest memories of Kankri were of him as an alcoholic. No one will speak of the time before then, as if an eraser has washed over the past.

“I’m not all too shore what happened back then, but Cronus always says how he has to watch over Kankri. How he has to protect him to make up for the past.” Feferi frowns, “But he doesn’t strike me as the sort of troll to drive someone to drink.”

She smiles at Aradia and you, “It’s like in the old stories isn’t it? Like something happens in the family and there’s a curse that no one can speak of what happened. A curse of utter silence washing over people, like the water over the tops of trailers when the levees finally bust open…”

“I don’t believe in curses or ghosts.” you say, “I do believe in people hoarding secrets.”  

Feferi looks disappointed and you just shrug. You can’t change who you are and it takes a certain kind of troll to be devoted to the stringent rules and rituals of religion. You’ve inherited too much of your father’s skepticism, finding it difficult to process supernatural meddling when you see normal cause-and-effect at work.

Oh, but Feferi—like any passionate Orthodoxian—would debate your disbelief.

“How can you not believe in ghosts or the supernatural—especially considering how everyone thinks our grandparents died on Alternian thousands of years ago! The only way to explain them being on an alien planet in complete secrecy would have to be through divine intervention!”

“Or space travel,” you provide, “The technology of our ancestors was _far_ beyond what we have now, even in the New Century. Much of the technology from Alternian was lost…or perhaps hidden since immigrating trolls were wary about sharing technology with other species.”

You sit back, leaning against the cool respiteblock wall. “A lot of things were lost with the destruction of Alternian and the immigration to an artificial colony and then to New Earth. No one remembers the Old Empress although she is your grandcestor, Feferi. No troll fitting her description exists in anyone’s records even though she came to New Earth with the others. Only a few of our parents remember her. Now she exists in the memory of her people as a terrifying, gigantic tyrant with a Subjuggulator army. No doubt exaggerated by people’s memory of her; most of the early painters were warmblooded after all.”  

“It doesn’t explain what they were doing altogether though!” Feferi adds, “I’m pretty sure my grandcestor would have killed Karkat’s grandcestor on sight for being a mutantblood.”

Feferi pulls herself to the edge of the daybed and, after you lend her your support, stands up.

“My grandmother always talked about what happened but it was nonsense really.” Aradia says, “She adores the truth and straight answers as much as my mother does.”

Feferi walks to her closet. Once she’s up from an attack, she’s a bundle of energy—as if she’s making up for lost time. She walks around her respiteblock, nude, and pulling clothes out of the closet. She tugs on a skirt and yanks on panties tossed on the closer floor. She dresses with violent vigor, like she’s rushing off to war.

“ _Whale now_ ,” pronounces Feferi, “I’m not staying inside this house, laying around like a beach dolphin! There’s a big world out there and I lost time from my fit so I say we mullet out of here!” She looks at Aradia and you, grinning like a shark. “The water here’s toxic so there’ll be no drinking or cooking. And Mom’s not gonna return from shipbreaking anytime soon. They’re de-commissioning a huge one I think. A tanker as big as Aniline End— _heh!_ ”

“Perhaps we could stay at my hive?” you suggest.

Feferi’s facial gills twitch back and forth with excitement. “Like a sleepover?”

“Yes, if that’s what we’re doing here.”

“Sounds like a _fintastic_ idea, Kanaya!” Feferi ties a towel around her waist that she’s commandeered a skirt. You try not to frown, knowing that Feferi has the personality of a hermit crab—claiming old gaudy junk and repurposing it. “It feels like it’s been ages since I’ve hung out with anyone!”

Aradia grins. “We can take another trip in the car.”

You follow Feferi as she leaves the respiteblock, now on the prowl for her huskphone.

“Feferi, if you choose to ride with Aradia I would kindly suggest you taking out a life insurance policy.” You respond.  

Aradia huffs, “I’m still learning though and we didn’t die! And we need to bring my mother’s car back home or she’ll definitely think someone stole it.”

“That is true,” you consider, “Aradia, you bring the car home. I could ask Dave to give us a lift since he has a driver’s license.”

Feferi returns from the hygieneblock with a slightly moist huskphone. “It’s one in the afternoon, Kanaya. Most people would be at school, even if it’s the last day. There’s Karkat too since they’re _daaaaating._ ” She grins, “Eridan told me all about how his brother is all about the Strider.”

“I think Dave’s at school right now but Karkat wasn’t on the bus I think.” Aradia says.

You take out your huskdroid, “I’ll call him. I am his friend.”

“Oooh! Invite me to the conversation!” Feferi says excitedly.

 

\--grimAuxilatrix [GA] became an active troll!—

\--grimAuxillatrix [GA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist[CG]!-

GA: Hello Karkat

CG: UGHHHH.

CG: JADE TEXT.

CG: SO…

GA: Kanaya

CG: FUCK YEAH. KANAYA.

GA: Has Being With Strider Destroyed Your Memory Karkat

CG: NO. I’M JUST FUCKING EXHAUSTED.

\--grimAuxilatrix invited cuttlefishCuller [CC] to this conversation!-

CC: )(-ELLO!

CC: KARKAT!

CC: It’s been FOR-EV-ER since we last spoke! 

CG: OH GODS. THE TWO OF YOU ARE FUCKING BUGGING ME WHILE I’M TRYING TO SLEEP. YOU MUST WANT SOMETHING.

GA: We Were Wondering If We Could Perhaps Receive A Ride From You

CC: And w)(y you’re dating a )(uman!

CC: And if you’ve SMOOC)(-ED yet!

CC: Hee hee! 38D

GA: Yes

GA: That Too

CG: YOU TWO ARE SO FUCKING NOSY.  

CG: IF I EVER LOOKED UP “NOSY BROADS WHO ARE ALWAYS BUGGING, FUSSING, AND MEDDLING IN OTHER PEOPLE’S BUSINESS” IN THE DICTIONARY, THE DEFINITION WOULD JUST SHOW A PICTURE OF YOU TWO DRESSED IN SOMETHING ANNOYING AND GLAMROCKY—LIKE TROLL DAVID BOWIE WAS YOUR PERSONAL STYLIST.

GA: I Wouldnt Mind Troll David Bowie Being My Stylist

CC: Yea)(! )(e’s pretty )(ot for an old guy!

CG: WHY ARE YOU EVEN PESTERING ME WITH THIS? I JUST SPENT MOST OF MY MORNING BEING DRAGGED AROUND TRAILERS BY ONE OF STRIDER’S TWO DADS. I MET BOTH A WHORE AND A MADONNA WITHIN THE SPAN OF THIRTY MINUTES PLUS TWO DUDES WITH THE SAME NAME. IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING THAT I’VE HAD A WEIRD AS FUCK MORNING.

CC: A w)(ore and a Madonna…? 38/

CG: LONG STORY, NOT GOING TO GO INTO IT NOW.

CG: AND STRIDER AND ME ARE…WELL…IT’S COMPLICATED.

CG: I GUESS.

CC: Ooo)(! Is it just a glute call t)(en? 383c

CG: NO!

CG: I MEAN.

CG: UGH.

CG: DO WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THAT…?

GA: You Seem To Feel Flushed For Dave But You Are Not Sure If Dave Returns Your Flushed Affections I Think

GA: Have You Asked Him

 

You can’t help but smile. Karkat always reminded you a fussy little cat—unsure of what he’s doing or where he’s going and needing a guiding hand to push him forward in life and help him articulate his loud and complicated feelings. Your grandmother would do the same for his grandfather when she was up and about. Even when she was unable to leave her home, you continued to visit the old troll. Like Karkat, he didn’t have any bile to spew at you.

At least not toward the end, when he began to confuse you for your grandmother—even though you were still small. Even though you have too much purple and cerulean mixed in you to ever pass for a purebred jadeblood like your grandmother.

You remember Karkat was there on the last day the Signless drew his last breath.  

Ever since then you’ve had to watch over the mutantblood. There was no one else left to do it.

 

CG: WELL.

CG: YOU KNOW.

CG: HE’S HUMAN AND…I DON’T WANT TO SCARE HIM OFF.

CG: I MEAN…DID TROLLS EVEN PRACTICE DATING AND MAKING QUADRANTS ‘OFFICIAL’ BEFORE WE MET HUMANS? USUALLY YOU QUADRANT WITH SOMEONE AT THE MOMENT, FILL A FILIAL PAIL, AND THEN YOU DIDN’T USUALLY BOTHER EACH OTHER WITH ANYTHING ELSE SINCE THE MOTHERGRUB HANDLED IT.

\--cuttlefishCuller invited armageddonArisen[AA] to this conversation!—

AA: karkat that was a th0usand years ag0

CC: Yea)(! I mean back t)(en t)(ere weren’t any )(umans or carapaces or anyt)(ing like that t)(at s)(aring t)(e planet wit)( us. 38/

CG: I FUCKING KNOW THAT BUT STILL THIS WEIRDS ME OUT SOMETIMES!

CG: AT THE END OF THE DAY I’M STILL A TROLL. I’M STILL AN ALIEN.

CG: WE CAN’T EVEN GET MARRIED OR SHIT LIKE THAT.

CG: FUCK. WHAT IF HE WANTS TO GET MARRIED?

CG: THERE’S NO WAY IN FUCK I COULD WEAR A WHITE DRESS AND HEELS! I’LL FALL OVER AND TAKE THE CAKE AND TEN TABLES AND CHAIRS WILL FLIP OVER SINCE MY ASS IS SO WIDE THAT WHEN IT HITS THE GROUND A SHOCKWAVE HAPPENS.

CC: O)( buoy. )(e stopped making sense.

AA: he must be panicking again

GA: Karkat Please Calm Down

CG: I’M CALM! I’M SO CALM I’M SHAKING LIKE A FUCKING JUNKIE ON A THREE DAY DRY OUT!

GA: Karkat Take A Deep Breath Its Not Unusual For Someone Our Age To Be A Little Nervous About Their First Real Relationship

AA: i was nerv0us ab0ut dating equius at first

AA: i th0ught he was g0ing t0 strangle 0r crush me with his strength by accident

CG: HE WILL AND MY PROBLEM IS FUCKING DIFFERENT.

AA: equius has near perfect c0ntr0l 0ver his strength when he f0cuses karkat

CG: BULLSHIT. THAT SWEATY FUCKER CAN’T EVEN FIRE A BOW AND ARROW. REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED THE ONE, AND ONLY TIME, HE WAS ALLOWED TO TRY OUT FOR ARCHERY?

AA: it takes time f0r a bluebl00d t0 learn strength c0ntr0l

AA: if equius is able t0 handle delicate machinery with0ut a pr0blem why sh0uld i be afraid 0f him

AA: 0u0

CG: HOW FUCKING WONDERFUL FOR YOU AND SWEATY. MAY YOUR GRUBS BE TROLL INDIANA JONES AND TROLL LAURA CROFT.

AA: i w0uld be immensely pleased if they were

CC: Awww! T)(en you could go on arc)(aelogical adventures wit)( t)(em as a family! CUT-E! 38D 

AA: 0u0

GA: Karkat Stop Evading The Matter At Hand With Your Aggressive Evasive Conversational Maneuvers

CG: I AM NOT DOING THAT CLUSTER OF OVERCOMPLICATED WORDS.

GA: And I Honestly Think You Would Look Wonderful In A Dress And I Could Train You To Walk In High Heels If You So Desired

GA: You Would Most Likely Walk Better In Them Than Vriska

CG: REALLY?

CG: WAIT! THAT’S NOT THE PROBLEM HERE!

CG: MARRIAGE IS DIFFERENT FOR HUMANS! IT’S A HUGE FUCKING DEAL! I BET HE WOULDN’T WANT ME TO HAVE A KISMESIS OR MOIRAIL OR ANYTHING! WHAT DO I DO THEN?

CG: AND THEN WE HAVE TO INVITE OUR FAMILIES AND...

CG: I…I DON'T KNOW.

CC: You s)(ould be fine provided Kankri stays away from t)(e c)(ampagne.

CG: I'VE NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP BEFORE! I ONLY HAD A CRUSH ON HANAEL AND THAT AMOUNTED TO A BIG PILE OF NOTHING!

GA: Hanael Is A Scumbag Karkat You Only Had A Crush On Him Because He Was Physically Appealing

CC: Yea)(. Everyone knows )(anael’s just a jerk wit)( a pretty face. All )(e cares about is being a )(oodrat with Tavros and getting sucked off in t)(e locker room. 38/

GA: Dave Is A Better Choice And I Think He Is More Open Minded When It Comes To Your Needs

GA: Calm Your Shout Poles Karkat

CG: UGH. I’M FINE, KANAYA.

CG: I’M NOT SOME TEENAGED GIRL SCREAMING HER HEAD OFF BECAUSE TROLL BACKSTREET BOYS SHOWED UP LIVE IN CONCERT IN THE NEAREST SHITTY MALL.

CG: I’M JUST FUCKING…NERVOUS ABOUT ALL OF THIS.

AA: its new territ0ry f0r y0u and expl0ring is always a little scary at first

CC: Let’s c)(ange t)(e subject t)(en!

GA: We Were Also Wondering Why Cronus Stays With Kankri

CG: WHAT?

CG: THAT IS A RANDOM AS FUCK QUESTION.

GA: Considering The Alcoholism And Current Joblessness I Am Curious Myself About This Subject Matter

CG: I DON’T KNOW. IT…IT’S COMPLICATED.

CG: I THOUGHT YOU GUYS MESSAGED ME CAUSE YOU NEEDED A FUCKING RIDE, NOT BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO PLAY TWENTY QUESTION WITH VANTAS.

CC: We still need a ride!

GA: Yes

GA: We Do Not Trust Aradia’s Driving And Dave Has A License

GA: And I Do Not Know His Number

CG: DAVE’S AT SCHOOL BUT I CAN DRIVE. I’LL JUST BORROW JAKE’S TRUCK WHILE HE’S…UH, BUSY WITH DIRK.

GA: Do You Even Know How To Drive

CG: I HAVE MY PERMIT AND I’VE DONE IT PLENTY OF TIMES FOR KANKRI AND CRONUS! I’M ONE ROAD TEST AWAY FROM GETTING MY LICENSE! I’LL BE RIGHT OVER!

CC: We’re at my place! 38D

GA: See You Soon

\--carcinoGeneticist is now offline!--

 

You look to Aradia, “Are you sure you can drive back by yourself, Aradia? I’m sure Equius would tear me in half if anything happened to you.”

Aradia smiles, “Equius wouldn’t do that no matter how angry he was. If you think my driving is hazardous, you should see my mother behind the wheel. Compared to her, I drive as carefully as a mother with their grubs.”

“Whatever! I’m just in this for the adventure!” Feferi chuckles.

 

You smile; at least Feferi’s back to a more cheery mood. Karkat couldn’t possibly be that bad of a driver.

* * *

Aradia leaves Feferi and you outside of her mobilehive. Feferi leans against a bicycle left rusting in the lawnring grass while you prefer to avoid tetanus and stand on the road’s edge. You are having a pleasant conversation with the seatroll. About how she’s going to continue school with online classes. How she wants to study marine biology.

For a rare moment in the mobilehive park, things are calm and peaceful.

That is until a hovertruck spotted with rust slides down the road, kicking up mud and water. It drives nearly to the end of Two Boot Drive before spinning around and returning. You see Karkat nervously working the wheel and fiddling with something below the dash. Eventually the hovertruck does stop before hitting a dross coffer in front of Eridan’s mobilehive.  

Your shoes are now fifty percent more ruined, including your socks and skirt. Wonderful. Now you honestly wish you went with Aradia.  

Karkat opens the driver’s side with a huff and jumps out. “Fu-fucking _made_ _it_.” he triumphantly announces, but you see he’s trembling like a little leaf.

You look at the vehicle. It’s a hovering monstrosity. The back is piled with junk that looks sharp, soft, and very dangerous. Just looking at it might give a bout of infection. There is print on the doors in-between splattered dried mud: STRIDER & ENGLISH LUSUS EXTERMINATION SERVICE—THE SEXIEST MEN FOR THE JOB! 

“Made it in _what_ exactly?” you mumble.

Feferi cautiously walks over to the hovertruck, as if she’s just discovered a new species of cuttlefish. “The… _sexiest_ men for the job?”

Karkat rolls his eyes. “I guess they would be, considering what all the other guys in ‘the biz’ look like.”

You fold your arms, glaring at Karkat. “I thought you said you could drive?”

“I can fucking drive!” Karkat grumbles, “…it’s just my first time driving a huge trunk with a hundred pounds worth of junk in the back.”

“What’s all this stuff in the back for?” Feferi asks.

“Smuppets. Stuffed lusus. Jarred lusus. Shitty swords. Ridiculous augmented guns made by the crazy Young Brit himse— _Feferi don’t fucking touch that shit!_ ”

Feferi gives Karkat a disappointed scowl and retracts her hand from the back.

“You have very weird hivemates.” you say.

“It’s Strider’s two dads that are the weird ones!” Karkat huffs and walks back to the driver’s side. “Now get in you two. This fucker eats through gas like Feferi through clams.”

“Are you sure we won’t die going to my hive?”

“I got here in one piece!” Karkat growls. The door protests with a loud screech as he slams it shut.

Feferi seizes the passenger door handle and tugs it open. “Kanaya, where’s your sense of adventure?”

“With my sense of self preservation, I believe.” you counter.

 

Feferi is in her excitable, stubborn mood and she’s difficult to sway from her decisions now—no matter how they may harm in her the future. Despite the trouble she causes, you prefer this Feferi. She’s considerably easier to be around compared to her… _other_ mood. You know Karkat isn’t a manic adventurer like Aradia though. Perhaps this will be less intense the second time around.

* * *

Along Fordham Road:

 

“AHHHH! WE’RE GOING TO DIE!”

“OH FUCK OH MAN OH FUCK OH MAN! STUPID FUCKING _BRAAAKE_!”

You were wrong. You were horribly _horribly_ wrong.  

The hovertruck isn’t swerving like Aradia’s but Karkat’s still in a desperate battle for control with the stick-brake. The vehicle is going far too fast for anyone’s comfort to where even Feferi’s bravado has died away, now replaced with the fear of being splattered over the road. You really wish you could be calm and composed right now.

Instead, you’re holding onto Feferi for dear life.

The metal bumper smacks into a dross coffer and takes out a mailbox. The plastic structure goes spinning down the road along with a rain of orange peels, old papers, and moldy bread. Karkat seizes the stick break and yanks it back. The hovertruck screams to a stop. The three of you are panting, thanking the gods for your lives.

When you gather your breath, you shout at Karkat, “I thought you said you knew how to _drive!_ ”

“I do know how to fucking drive, Kanaya!” Karkat growls, “I’m still learning this fucking _stick break!_ ”

“If you cannot manage to drive a truck without crashing into everything along the road _you do not know how to drive!_ ” you growl.

Tinkerbulls and raccoons are flocking over to the refuse strewn on the street. Karkat leans against the back of the seat and takes a deep breath.

“Where the fuck’s your trailer? I’ve like, totally forgotten…” he adds with a mutter, “…think I’ve forgotten even where _I_ fucking live.”   

“We’re walking the rest of the way before you kill us!” You fight with the door knob for five minutes before it finally gives in. She slide off the seat and land on the pavement. “ _Aradia_ was a better driver than you.”

“ _Hey!_ I’m still learning this fucking brake and I got you half way there!” Karkat growls.

You take Feferi’s hand, “Careful, Feferi…”

“Oh, Kanaya, I’m _fine_ now! I don’t need you to help me out!” Feferi whines.

“Feferi, you’re still weak after what happened. It’s just a helping hand.” you say firmly.

Feferi pouts but takes your hand. She slides out of the hovertruck and shuts the door behind her. She waves to Karkat. “Thanks for the ride anyways even though we almost died!”  

“Yeah, your fucking _welcome!_ ” Karkat shouts out the driver window.

You roll your eyes and hold firmly onto Feferi’s hand. It’s harder to keep her focused when she’s like this but at least your life won’t flash before your eyes with Karkat’s hazardous “driving”. You walk to your home, holding firmly onto the larger seatroll’s hand.

* * *

On Shaker Hill Road:

 

It’s almost three o’ clock and students are returning from the last day of classes. Next week is finals and then summer break will officially begin. You’re looking forward to summer—the warmth, the sunlight, and swimming in wherever there’s clean water available. When you were small, Vriska and you used to play in the sprinkler every day. When you got too big for that, Vriska decided breaking into hydrants was the next logical step.

That was when your parents still lived together and you saw Vriska every day.

Aradia is waiting outside your mobilehive since her own is at the far end of the road. Equius, Tavros, Vriska, and yourself are all Shaker Hill trolls. When you had just pupated, you used to go to “war” with the Two Boot Drive seatrolls—armed with water balloons, mud, and rotten eggs. That was how you met Feferi and Eridan.

Aradia looks at Feferi and you with a knowing smirk. You glare at the rustblood, “Not. A. Word.”

Aradia grins, “I didn’t say a thing.”

“Let’s just get inside and relax. After today’s hectic pace I could use a cup of tea with some cake.”

You’ve done your best to make your mobilehive cozy. Your father taught you little tricks about decoration and arrangement to make your home seem less cramped and more ‘warm’. You’ve made sure the entryway isn’t cluttered using window-seats and vertical book-shelves to hang coats, purses, hats, and shoes on. Keep the windows open. Set a vase of fresh flowers on the end tables. Hang artwork in the hallway. Keep the lights dim during the day and turn them up more at night.

Aradia and Feferi congratulate you on your beautiful home. You respond that it was a labor of love to make it look this way. Your father’s enthusiasm for decorating ebbed after moving out of your mother’s mobilehive. You guide them to your respiteblock, adorned with variegated muslin curtains and beads hanging off the lampshade and closet doorway. The respiteblock is luminous and kaleidoscopic with color in the afternoon sun.

You three eat the chocolate cherries you’ve hidden in the pantry from your father. You flick popcorn at one another while you watch Troll Let The Right One In and explain any confusion as to what’s going on to Feferi in case she misses the subtitles. You brush hair and give out makeup tips, lacquer claws with polish and primp and preen and do as youth normally do—no matter the economic situation.

You are still adolescents after all and this is a Friday night slumber party.

You finish Troll Interview With A Vampire and Feferi is scouring your DVD collection for what to put on next.    

“So why keep the lights in the trailer dim during the day and bright at night?” Aradia asks.

“It’s the same set-up they have at the assisted living communities for older trolls.” you respond. “Trolls were originally nocturnal and sometimes it’s hard for older ones to break out of that pattern of activity. Dimming the lights indoors during the daytime eases them into a different activity pattern. They do it to grubs and kits now so they can learn while they’re young.” 

You busy your hands braiding the rustblood’s thick dark curls. Most trolls think Aradia and Feferi both have the same type of hair but a vigilant eye like yours can easily see the difference between the two. Feferi’s hair is long and only curls toward the end of the strand, more appropriate for corkscrew curls like Troll Shirley Temple. Aradia’s hair is denser and tightly woven like lamb’s wool; strands intertwining with each other. You would never realize its length unless it was straightened.

“Kits?” Feferi groans, “We’re calling little trolls _kits_ now? What are we—animals? Why don’t we just call newly molted seatrolls ‘guppies’?”

“Your mother called you ‘guppy’ and ‘goldfish’ when you were small.” Aradia points out.

“That’s different! That’s a pet name. It’s not my _actual_ name.” Feferi huffs.

You finish a long thick braid and start on the next one, “It’s only a term to distinguish trolls from humans. For one thing, humans don’t pupate from grubs into kits, age into juveniles and then pupate again into adulthood. It’s a dramatic change that does deserve a separate terms and there’s no translatable terms from the scraps of Old Alternian we have.”

“What does ‘Feferi’ mean in Old Alternian?” Aradia asks.

Feferi is reading the back of your Troll Carmilla DVD case.

“It’s from an Alternian fairytale about a rainbow colored cuttlefish named Feferi who fell in love with a troll. But they could never touch because she was covered in poisonous spines. She bargained with a sea-witch to find a way to be with her love and in exchange she gave up all her colors and became white as snow.

“So Feferi became the first lusus ever and stayed by her lover’s side in his hive. But when her love was away in the night, he was culled. Feferi waited by the ocean rocks for him to return home. He never came but she waited through storms and sea-battles, low tides and high tides. She waited until she became nothing but bleached bones. Even though their physical bodies were gone, they were reunited in death as spirits where they frolicked through the dreambubbles for all eternity together—not bound by time or space.”

“That sounds like The Little Mermaid.” Aradia says.

“No, Troll Little Mermaid is where the seadweller wants to be human.” you correct, “Stories of transformation are well known among all cultures. Even the carapaces have stories about carapaces who wanted to be salamanders or iguanas.”

“That just sounds really confusing.” Feferi says.

“I’m not an expert in carapacian culture. Rose’s mother seems to have more of an understanding for the carapaces. Like mother like daughter, I suppose.” you says, finishing the second braid.

Aradia grins. “And how _are_ you and Lalonde…?”

You feel the jade rise to your grey face. “Aradia, please. It was a crush. Nothing more.”

“I seem to remember there was _kissing_ involved!” Feferi adds.

“An act of interspecies kissing urged on by alcoholism and being hormonal teenagers.” you say, “It was a New Years party after all. We all did a lot of things we don’t properly recall and that was one of them, at least on Lalonde’s part. Not to mention her boyfriend would not be fond of his girlfriend dating a troll on the side.”

“Have you asked him? Some humans are into that.” Aradia suggests.

“Humans with that manner of thinking concerning personal relationships tend to live on the Summersend Archipelago.” you say, “One day I would like to go there, as would my father. I heard the beaches are beautiful and the sand is so clean.”

“Unlike here,” Feferi grumbles, “I sliced my foot open walking over a can buried in the sand on the public beach.” She sits up, “Kanaya, how’s your family doing? I know your parents don’t live together anymore.”

“Mother and father first began to live apart because it was less rent and father could stop working at the assisted living community.  It took a toll on her after grandmother died last year going there.”

“Tavros and Equius’s parents did the same thing.” Aradia says, “Though it hasn’t made things between them better. I think they’re going to dissolve their matespriteship.”

“Not living together makes the flush quadrant fraught with tension. I don’t think mother got over breaking her flush with Meenah a long time ago. Now things are tense with father. Even Uncle Rufioh has been pulled into the middle of it.”

You’re not sure what Uncle Rufioh has to do with any of this though. He could be auspitizing. You’re not sure if you should feel offended or not if he is auspitizing. Auspisticism is your personal interest and if there’s going to be any auspitizing in your family it should be _you_. Then again, Uncle Rufioh could have just wandered into the middle of it and not know what he was getting into. He was always a strange troll.

“I’m not sure if it’s a blessing or a curse that I don’t know who my father is,” says Aradia, “or having a father that’s supposedly a demon.” She rolls her eyes at the latter.

“Your mother seems to share traits with your grandcestor such as their devotion to more esoteric religious practices.” you say, “I still can’t believe she and Mituna are brother and sister. They are as different as night and day.”

Feferi smirks, “I can’t believe Vriska and you are sisters.”

You sigh. “Yes, we are rather different…”

You don’t like talking about your older sister though, because that drags up a lot of complicated feelings that you’ve been trying to ignore. Vriska and you were always a pair as you were growing up. Now with your mother and father living apart—and with a permanent break-up looming on the horizon—you barely see her or mother. Most likely mother will move out of the neighborhood, maybe even to the city.

That thought sends a strange pain down through your chest—like a piece of your heart is breaking off.

Aradia turns around and faces you. Her neatly plaited hair spills over her shoulders.      

“Kanaya,” there is concern in her voice, “what’s wrong?”

“Oh nothing. Just the usual family issues. Nothing that can be controlled.” You fold your hands, placing them in your lap. You are trying to look as neutral as possible; burying your troubles under a tranquil temperament. “How has your mother taken your pregnancy so far, Aradia?”

Aradia shrugs. “My mother is my mother which means nothing’s changed between us. She pushes me to fight her on every inch of my life. I’m looking forward to moving out…though I’m not fond of Equius’s new…job ambitions…”

Feferi is fiddling around with the DVD player. “New job ambitions? Is he going to build machines?”

“He already works with machines for Trollego,” Aradia says, “but he says he might be laid off in a year or so. He wants to go into…the police force. We sort of…argued about it. I don’t want to end up being matesprite to a gravestone, even if it means financial stability.”

“Equius is _strong_ though!” Feferi adds, “Remember that time that guy tried to mug him with a knife and he broke both his arms?”

“Yes. I was with him when that happened.” Aradia sighs and lies back on the bed.

“DVD’s playing!” Feferi jumps back on your large bed. There’s not enough space in your respiteblock to fit a daybed, recuperacoon, your sewing machine, and a television. You think you’re better off without it, as most of the recuperacoons you’ve seen in Wal-Mart are garish colors that would clash with your careful decorating scheme. You’re better off just sleeping in the bed and taking the occasional soporific tablet if you’re having any trouble.  

“Another film about creatures that lurk in the bright sun of Alternian,” Aradia murmurs, “It reminds me of something my mother would enjoy.”

“I like the stories of rainbow-drinkers. I think it’s a fascinating tidbit of Alternian culture and I find the parallel in the Alternian fear light and rainbow-drinkers interesting when compared to the human fear of darkness and vampires. After all, they’re just stories. Rainbow-drinkers are as mythical as The Rift Carbuncle and Pupa Pan.”

You lean back on your mountain of homemade pillows. Feferi snuggles against you. You smile and take the comb, now tending to her wild tresses.

“Your mother is as odd as your grandmother was, Aradia.” you say, “but as odd as she is I’m sure she made your real father pay child support or you wouldn’t be living as comfortably as you do now. Even when you were young you never wanted food or new clothes for long. There must be some troll in the picture who is lending financial support.”

“She refuses to tell me who he is though. Since I was a wiggler she told me the names of a hundred different demons from her midnight rituals and…” Aradia shudders. “I’d rather not think of things she does in those woods.”

“Everyone knows her mother was weird.” says Feferi.

“The Handmaiden was odd.” you say, “No one knew her real name or even where she came from. She spoke a language no one else besides her understood. She only referred to herself with the title The Handmaiden of Destruction.”

“All of our grandparents were like that. Some Old Alternian tradition of not letting the public know your real name; like it would call forth the attention of unearthly forces.” Aradia clarifies, “Or that’s what my grandmother told my mother and most of what my grandmother said were lies, including how they arrived on New Earth.”

“It’s difficult getting a clear-cut explanation of that from any of them,” you say, “Whenever I bring up the fact the Old Empress would have killed the Signless on sight with Grandmother Mindfang, she laughs until she starts coughing and needs her oxygen.” You frown, “ _Feferi_ , you should be taking better care of your hair. These split ends are atrocious.”

“I brush it…” Feferi whines.

“There’s more to hair than _just_ brushing, young lady.” you say sternly.

Though you doubt Feferi learned anything about hair-care considering her mother’s love of faux-hawks and tangled braids. You don’t know what your mother sees in the loud mouthed seadweller.

Aradia watches the rainbow-drinker creep into the bedroom of the vulnerable young violetblood, biting her noble throat for a taste of seadweller blood. It’s while the rainbow-drinker is feasting in the most sensual way possible, she says,

“I think my mother expects me to cull her.”

“Cull?” Feferi tilts her head and then corrects it when you give an annoyed growl, “You mean…mercy-kill her when she gets too old and sick?”  

Aradia nods. “It’s making sense now. All the teasing and cruelty…maybe she thinks that it will make things easier when the time comes. She did the same thing for my mother. It was either cull or be culled in that situation.”

“How do you know that?” Feferi asks.

“My mother told me about it in great detail when I was five.”

 

“It’s not uncommon for socially conservative trolls to want culling instead of living in sickness or in pain, especially when it comes to diseases such as cancer.” you say, “Or they would prefer to be abandoned in the wilderness of the Mainland rather than be a financial burden to the family. It’s a problem in my mother’s field.”

“I don’t know if my mother culled my grandmother or not, but sometimes I think she did cause doesn’t like to talk about what happened to her.” Feferi says, “Did Mituna cull his father?”

“No,” Aradia says, “Sollux told me about that. He was murdered. It was all over the news at the time.”

“‘The Winter Aconite’ is what they called him.” you recall, “My mother told me all about it since she was writing an essay on it. The press didn’t know his real identity so they named him after the acrid flower that someone had jammed into his mouth before they killed him. Dualscar had to identify his moirail’s body…the pictures of the murder site was on the cover of every paper and his picture on every news show.”

Aradia shudders but you see the wide eyed interest. She may have her father’s personality (whoever that may be) but every rustblood loves a good, gruesome ghost story. Everyone in the neighborhood knows that Darkleer Manor was a hotbed for ghosts and tales of the supernatural, or weirdness in general. It was a rite of passage for mobilehive park children to dare each other to visit the foreboding decaying mansion on Eldritch Night—the most haunted and spookiest night of the year.

“I don’t believe in ghosts or anything like that _but_ ” the rustblood troll begins (as always) “everyone says Sollux’s grandfather wasn’t the last victim. He was just one of seven who were murdered in the _most_ grisly way possible. They also say there are secret tunnels all over the Manor that lead to a bloody sacrificial chamber.”

“I know about the bloody handprints,” Feferi adds, “splattered all over the walls. And that you can see ghosts walking around even in broad daylight. You can hear the wails of the Grand Highblood’s victims from the basement.”

“What victims?” you ask.

“Most purplebloods were cannibals. How do you think they got so big? It wasn’t just from eating grubloaf and drinking Faygo all day. They used to eat other trolls.” Feferi says in a matter-of-fact tone.

“That’s just a legend. There’s no evidence that ancient purplebloods were cannibalistic.” you sigh.  

“My mother says so.”

“Not everything your mother says is correct and she may have been teasing you.”

“She was not. My mother always says the truth…people just wouldn’t believe the things she says.”

You chuckle, “That may be true of several people.”

 

Feferi’s eyes narrow slightly and she turns her attention back to the TV screen.

* * *

You feel the shift in weight on the daybed. You sit up with a low grumble and feel Aradia murmur and roll over beside you. Feferi is not present. You hear the floor creak and the door open.

Oh no.

You jump off the daybed and dash down the hallway. The backdoor is open. You run out into the warm summer night. There are fireflies drifting through the air, winking their messages to you. You look through the darkness and see Feferi standing on the grass—barefoot, shuffling from side to side with strange swaying movements like a tree in strong breeze.

You slowly approach her. She doesn’t move. You take her hand. It’s quaking and dripping with sweat, which means her body temperature has risen again. She’s moments away from another fit. You’re not sure if she’s in a stupor or not.   

You gently pull on her hand. “Feferi. Feferi, you’re outside. You shouldn’t be out here. It’s not safe out here. You should be inside. Feferi? Can you hear me?”

The seatroll doesn’t respond. You look at her face. Her expression is serene and her eyes dilated and glossy. You match her line of sight and see she’s staring at the levee the cuts through the mobilehive park.

“Even with my tyrian blood I have never glimpsed the ocean until now.” she whispers. “Lowblood, you shall never understand the way of tyrians but even though this alien ocean is bereft of my beautiful caretaker, I hear her. I hear her whispers and the shrieks if I ignore her for too long. My beautiful Gl’bgolyb. I hear her now and she misses me badly. She wants me to come with her. But I have never even seen the ocean, jadeblood. How can this be?”

She looks at you, “Can you see it there, jadeblood? The ocean? Can you hear my Gl’bgolyb speak to me?”

You look at the fuschiablood. You nod and respond—as your grandmother once did, as Porrim does, as anyone who knows Feferi Peixes says when she is like this—“Her reach is long and you will always hear her song, your majesty.”

You gently pull at her hand, “Now, your majesty. Come inside. It’s time for your evening bath.”      

You hope a cold bath will prevent another vicious fit. As usual, Feferi nods and walks beside you with calculated regal grace; a queen returning to her underwater castle escorted by a lowblood slave, and not a girl whose body has detained her mind while her close friend tries to help her through another seizure.

You enter your mobilehive and wonder who Feferi sees when she looks at you entranced—your grandmother as a young insubordinate, fearless jadeblood or yourself as another lowblood slave on your dead homeplanet?  


End file.
